And, for many, jealousy has to do with personal relationships. You become jealous, for example, if you feel that your partner is not paying enough attention to you. And of course with al the lastest: “10 Signs to Tell if He’s/She’s Cheating,” who wouldn’t go crazy! Jealousy might also be provoked if your partner or spouse consistently makes you feel uncomfortable through both their words and their actions.
In any relationship, trust and mutual respect are essential to keep the relationship flourishing and communication strong.
A person who has poor self-image may feel threatened and believe that they have nothing to offer to keep someone else interested. No person should ever have to experince thoughts like that, but we do.
Flattery or Jealousy?
Jealousy might seem flattering at first, if your mate wants all your time and attention, but it can also be a sign of emotional instability. That flattering interest in your attentions can turn into a chronic lack of trust and suspicion. A partner who is jealous, or makes remarks of your innocent friendships with other people, and who tries to control you and separate you from your friends and even family, can arise some serious issues. It’s most likely going to push you away, which will make them even more infatuated with whats going on in your life, and possibly even start to accuse you of infidelity.
Most jealousy arises when someone feels insecure and threatened of losing the relationship, or that someone else will get the attention that they are craving.
But, you CAN handle jealousy properly through, it doesn’t have to be a disaster, here are some suggestions for coping with jealousy within relationships:
*Make sure you both feel comfortable with your agreements about spending time with other people. Make some agreements about how you’ll behave, and make sure you’re willing to keep them. Don’t frighten yourself or your partner by testing too hard, demanding the impossible, or risking too much. Keep in mind that jealousy breaks down trust. If you begin to be upset, talk about it and encourage your partner to do the same. A lot of people want to run when they hear ‘jealousy’ but it’s just a mere lack of communication. Don’t get frustrated with one or the other, we all have emotions and they can get a little mixed up from time to time.
*Keep each other informed. I’m not saying that you have to report to one another, but if you running to the corner store, but really you go to see a friend that lives close by, say so. Lying to your partner about whether you have broken an agreement does more damage than breaking the agreement. If you slip up, or theres a change in plans, tell the truth. If your partner has slipped, be open to listening to him or her without blaming or getting upset. The two of you can negotiate a solution together. If you or your partner continually create situations that aggraviate jealousy, you may want to seek couseling (this works best for those who are married) and if your not married, perhaps you should separeate. If things can’t seem to work on a level that you both can commit to, maybe you shouldn’t be committed to each other.
*Give yourself time. Learning to balance and control outside friendships, and still feel good about your primary relationship is the goal. It takes practice, experience, patients, and most of all good communication.
Because most of us are very vulnerable and are most insecure with regard to sexual issues, sexual trust is among the most difficult types of trust to build. Our feelings of attractiveness, lovableness, and self-esteem are exposed and challenged, so we must remember to be gentle with ourselves and with each other.
The Purpose of Jealousy
Acknowledging our jealousy is the first step in overcoming it. If your ashamed of feeling jealous, you may try to mask it with “protective emotions” such as: anger, frustration, or resentment. Instead, ask yourself, ‘Why am I choosing to feel jealous?’ I know it’s hard to look at, but it’s a choice that you let something that you have no control over, take control. We all have our own spaces; there is always a time and a place for you and your partner to share. You are together for a reason, embrace that, and be happy, because they make you happy!
Typically we are jealous of things we ‘want’ not of things we ‘need.’ If that’s the case, then ask yourself how you can work toward what you want, and make a list of all that you do have, and what of that makes you feel good. Somethings we want we just can’t have, or people we can’t have. Doesn’t mean to take it out on them or others around. If you want someone, and they are unavailable, learn to except that. Sometimes the best and only way to sure yourself the rid of jealousy, is to let them go. More so emotionally, and lower your involvement with them until you can contain yourself.
