Let’s start from the beginning; Approaching. Most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. Woman like to play To-hard-to-get. And withing the 15 seconds of eye-oogling and making a statement the air has gone stale.
To catch a woman’s attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her. Women, to catch a man’s attention…well need I say more, a slight grin and a raised brow ought to do it! But your confidence is appealing just as well, but! be soft, you don’t want to scare him by intimidation.
For both this is general practice:
1. Observe something.
Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering turkey from the deli, ask her why she chooses turkey over ham. Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting enough to comment on.
2. Smile.
This shows that both of you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put you both at ease while creating openness in the interaction – a requirement for building a good convo!
3. Positive body language.
When someone approaches you hunched over with they’re head down you feel uncomfortable, kinda creeped out -huh. So, walk high, yet with a soft body, you don’t want to look like you just stepped out of boot camp.
4. Not too fast.
If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger an interal alarm. Someone might think that something exciting is going to happen, when it’s just you being overly assertive. A calm, casual stride is the best way to make anyone feel at ease with you.
5. Eye contact.
Ok, here’s a trick one. When someone is speaking look them, in the eyes boys, that’s what you have peripheral vision for. Sometimes you can get caught up looking deep into someone’s eyes, if you feel like this may happen, say she REALLY does have pretty eyes, try looking at her eye lids, or brows, glancing down to her eyes from time to time, so she can feel a connection.
6. Listen up.
Make sure you pay careful attention to what SHE says. (I am directing this more to men, since women can hear everything, even things not pertaining to us). Women LOVE a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. This plays from meet n’ greet, all the way into the relationship. Women having to repeat themselves start to feel like they are no longer appreciated enough to be listened to. Guys, if that’s the case, cut the rope and lasso yourself another one.
7. Lighten your tone of voice.
The tone of your voice is a very powerufl tool. Approaching someone in a light and playful tone is a great way to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like “I hope you saved some turkey for me, ” followed by a quick, soft smile to let her know you are joking.
8. Lean away from her.
A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself. Plus, wouldn’t you like to see her lean into you?
Let’s travel a little into a relationship…
1. Asking vs. Nagging.
As things become more comfortable in a relationship, women feel that they are asking, men hear nagging. What constitutes as nagging could be because we are repeating ourselves, or because of the tone we are using. When speaking to a man, try letting him see your face when you’re asking him to do something. Don’t frown or do the head-bob-thingy when you feel like you’re going to catch a tude; just look at him, ask what it is you need, and wait for his response. You will be surprised at how he will react in return. Men you feel appreciated, and see that your woman respects you enough to “ask” -not scream, yell, or gives you a tude -(which by the way women, will equal resentment, from him and you might as well do it yourself).
2. His space, her space.
We all enjoy our own time, ON our own time. Instead of pushing away, rolling eyes or making that ‘ugh’ sound under your breath, just communicate. Your partner telling you that they would like a little time with themselves shouldn’t make you feel raged or skeptical. Sometimes we all just need a little time to ourselves. Don’t act foolish or make comments of insecurity, you know that at one point you wanted and will want a few moments to yourself. You should’nt have to lock yourself in the bathroom to get away to read a magazine or file your nails.
3. Are you happy?
I have spoken to both men and women all ages, nationalities, different socialites…you name it! My major questions has always been: are you happy? Out of 100 people only 60 some-odd percent said yes. Gnuinely. The others said yes, but with that well, we’re comfortable, and it’s easy, and I don’t want to go through the rig-a-moroe of being single and dating again. So they settle. What makes you happy with your significant other? I enjoy seeing them happy, therefore in return it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. When i see something I’ve done make some else happy, the person I’m connected with, it feels like falling all over agian. Whever I hear that they’re just happy just because, I want to smack them over the head. What a waste. If your candle is low but the wick still burns bight, embrace that light. But, if your candle is buring low, blow it out.
